There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Vodka?
Forever.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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