I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
