he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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