Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
