PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
