Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
