Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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