i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
