I will die if light touches me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
