I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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