May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
