Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
