I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
