fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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