I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
