so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
