He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want nice things and good sex
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
