no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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