NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your cock deserves a montage
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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