You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
