Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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