Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
