Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
smell my finger.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
