i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
