I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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