Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ttyl tear gas
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
