i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Church boner. Awkwardddd
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
