used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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