Just fell off a train. Bad.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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