Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
