No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
