M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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