She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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