two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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