We won't sleep together?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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