I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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