loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
