FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
