No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
