"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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