it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
