Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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