My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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