so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
