so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
