Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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