Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish there were birth control emojis
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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