You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
