You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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