it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
