Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
