Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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