Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
